I'll be your Pawn and Sword
by Juuucchan
Summary: After four months form the Reaper's Game, Neku is summoned by the Angels at Joshua's trial. They want to punish him for what he intended to do to Shibuya. Neku think of him as a friend and doesn't want to accuse him. But is Joshua the same? To Neku's eyes he almost seems a stranger now.


This is an old role between one ex friend and me. I no longer have the files for this role but I liked it very much so I decided to rewrite it with some changes. Hope you like it too. Hope nobody mind some original characters between Josh and Neku! The rating will probably changes at some point. It's a male x male fanfiction, so if you don't like don't post hate!  
My native language is italian, so I'm really sorry if you find some errors! If you point them out it'll be a great help!

* * *

-Sanae Hanekoma, you have inherited the title of Fallen Angel. What you did was a betrayal of all Heaven's rules. As you know, that's a great sin and you'll be severely punished for it. We wanted you to witness his trial, but we can't afford to leave you free any longer. Fallen Angel Sanae Hanekoma, your punishment is...-

* * *

It had been almost four months since Neku saved Shibuya, opening a whimsical Composer's eyes, and life went on as if nothing had ever happened. The changes brought by those weeks would never be externally visible, but those who had lived through those days had changed deep down, along with Shibuya itself.  
Shiki was thinking about which university sign up for to realize her dream along with Eri. Beat hadn't made peace with his parents yet, but he was working to be the brother that he felt he had never been. Ryhme seemed pleasantly surprised and happy with how her brother was acting. Each of them had found on what spend their energy. Their second chance. Even for Neku himself was like that but he didn't feel like the others.  
It all started after the second month. Slowly Beat and Shiki started to forget more and more things that happened during the game. It had taken a full month before Neku understood that soon they would completely forget about everything. People shouldn't feel the UG's existence. He had never thought about it... but it made sense. It made sense that the Players who managed to survive would forget all that had happened. The emotions and the changes from those days would remain, but they would forget everything else for the preservation of one of this world's secret. Yet Neku never forgot. He remembered everything clearly and didn't catch in himself the signs of the amnesia that was overtaking his friends. One time he even thought to hear Joshua's voice in his head.

-You're my dear Proxy, Neku-kun. I would never dare you to forget.-

The voice had the usual arrogant tone. It could almost seems like something sweet to say, but from Joshua's lips could only mean that he would no longer be allowed to live normally. However, he had no idea if that was really Joshua's fault, or just that his imagination had developed so much during the game that it was enabling him to continue feeling the UG. Or perhaps it was his burning desire to see again people who, like it or not, had become important to him. Maybe it was his willpower.

* * *

The clock struck the three. Neku was standing in front of Hachiko, leaning against the statue as he looked at his cell phone. Every weekend he would stay there from afternoon to evening to wait. He had made a promise. He promised he would wait in front of Hachiko. And it was what he had always done in those four months. He never missed it, even though he knew that Joshua would never come, Neku waited.

-Neku? Neku Sakuraba?-

The voice who called him was soft. He didn't know how to place it as male or female voice, it was too ambiguous. He had never heard a voice like that.  
Neku turned, confused, to meet his gaze with an almost perfect face. Behind him was a guy who looked just a little bit younger than him, with light blond hair that framed his blue eyes.

-Do I know you?-

Neku asked, confused by the presence of that beautiful stranger and especially by the fact that he knew his name.

-No. But I'm here because your presence is required in front of the Angels.-

For a moment Neku believed to hadn't heard right. He stared at the other guy blinking several times, as if expecting to see him disappear, before he heard the boy's hand take his.

-We are already late on the schedule. Close your eyes if you don't want to feel sick.-

And with those words, Neku felt himself sucked, as if he were in a giant centrifuge. His instinct made him immediately obey the boy and close his eyes. The sensation he was feeling was already annoying and nauseating. He didn't want to imagine how it would feel to watch what was actually happening. Luckily for him it was only a matter of less than a minute before the feeling disappeared and his feet touched the ground again. He fell on his knees, without any kind of balance after what he had just experienced.

-Are you alright, Neku Sakuraba?-

Once again a beautiful voice had delighted his ears. It took a while to feel stable enough to open his eyes and see who had spoken, but as soon as he did, a face even more beautiful than the boy's appeared before him. It was the face of a mature man, with long light brown hair pulled back into a low ponytail. He smiled in a way that made Neku feel relaxed and at ease.

-I think I need to puke...-

He managed to whisper, pulling himself up as soon as the stranger held out his hand, helping him. He leaned for a moment against his arm, trying to find some balance and strength in his legs to stand straight.

-I'm sorry I had to call you here last minute, but it was very difficult to find you. I wonder why.-

He said. Neku sensed his tone a bit strange, but decided to ignore it to focus on the most pressing questions.

-Where am I? What's happening?-

He asked, looking around. The room where they were almost looked like the reception of a luxury hotel without information desk. It was completely white, making it very bright. Almost too much.

-You are in the astral plane where Angels live, Neku Sakuraba. You're familiar with the UG are you not? -

He waited for Neku to nod a little disoriented, before continuing with his answer.

-Think of this place as something similar. An Upperground instead of an Underground.-  
-Alright. So this place is like the UG. But why am I here? Am I dead again!?-

Neku said, starting to feel nervous at the thought. He really hadn't the energy to repeat everything he had done in the past, the very idea depressed him.

-Oh no no! You're alive, do not worry. You're here for a reason. See Sakuraba, once people won the Reaper's Game, over time all the former Players forget their time in the UG. This is to preserve the UG's secret. However, for a reason still unknown, you still remember quite vividly.-

He said, looking into Neku's eyes. His were a very light green and Neku felt as if they could see him naked. It was an intense look, inquiring, but he couldn't look away. Even when the man's face became dangerously closer it seemed impossible to get away. Even thought Neku had become more sociable, he still wasn't well inclined to letting people in his personal space, and that man was doing just that.

-Sir Elia?-

The voice of the boy who had brought Neku there, fortunately, broke that moment. The man, Elia, walked a few steps away from him, a calm smile as if nothing had happened. It almost seemed like he was going to kiss him, but Neku wanted to convince himself that it was only an impression.

-As I was saying, you Sakuraba continue to remember, and us Angels can't find out why.-

He summed up, bringing his hands behind his back.

-Well... I swear I don't have any idea either. I haven't told anyone of those weeks anyway! -

He cared to explain, worried that they wanted to punish him somehow.

-Don't worry, you have not been summoned here to undergo punishment. Indeed, your memory is an enormous help for us. In a few minutes it will take place Yoshiya Kiryu's trial, former Shibuya's Composer, and we need your testimony.-

Something finally clicked in Neku's mind. Obviously. How could he not thought of it before? Joshua wasn't a god... someone would have had to punish him for trying to arbitrarily destroy Shibuya. Even if everything had gone well, however, he had done something serious hadn't him? But...

-I would like to refrain from such a thing... I... Joshua is my friend. I don't like the idea to be used agaist him in a trial.-

Neku clenched his fists, looking directly into Elia's eyes. His blue eyes sparkled with determination. He knew Joshua probably had to be punished, but he also knew that the other changed and everything went for the best. He didn't want him to suffer some sort of punishment.

-I understand your feelings, Sakuraba. Friendship is a good thing, I'm serious. But your presence at the trial is still mandatory. You can't go home until you attend. However I can assure you that you can decide not to answer if you think it's necessary. However, I wonder if this would benefit Kiryu or not.-

He did a seraphic and calm simle. Neku didn't sense any hidden intent behind those words. He was really trying to advise him that it was better to talk and counter any accusations, rather than remain silent and let Joshua gone down. He had to give him a point, although he wasn't very happy that those Angels would take someone imprisoned against their will.

-I understand... I guess it's actually more helpful.-

Neku murmured, running a hand through his hair.

-Follow me then.-

With those words, Elia had walked towards a long white corridor. There were no windows in the structure, but everything was bright. As if the sun came straight from the building's white walls.

-Can I ask you some questions Sakuraba? Don't worry, I'm just curious.-

Elia began as they walked, looking down to Neku. He nodded, quiet.

-How can you talk about friendship when it comes to your murdered? Not many humans have so much forgiveness.-

The question caught him off guard. Putting it like that, it looked like a bad and stupid thing to do and perhaps it was.

-Well... Joshua was my partner. We are very different and yet very similar. I cannot say exactly, but after all we've been through and said to each others... I can't be angry with him.-

He admitted, a little embarrassed. He hoped Joshua would never come to know those words, or he would tease him all his life.

-You're a good boy Sakuraba. You have a simple and honest heart. And tell me... has he ever apologized for all the suffering he caused you? -

Before Neku could even record his words, they found themselves in front of a huge door finely decorated, that opened before them. Elia nodded a bit his head, smiling sweetly, before leaving Neku to go to the courtroom.

-This way.-

The boy's voice awoke Neku from that confusion's moment, while Elia's words reached slowly his heart. They were like an annoying wooden peg that entered into your skin. And you know that it would be a pain in the ass to take it out.  
The boy ended up having to drag Neku in the witness counter, seen that he didn't seem to intend to move. He was the only witness and when he realized how many people were in the room, he began to feel really nervous. It was the first time he stood in front of such an audience.  
Neku then looked ahead to the defendants counter, holding back his breath.  
Joshua was at the center of the room, his wrists bound by bright handcuffs. He was much taller than Neku remembered, much more adult. He had never seen that Joshua... maybe. He wasn't sure. His hair were slightly longer and his face more mature. But if there was one thing that didn't change was his annoying smile. The arrogant expression which with he looked straight on the jury.  
He hadn't see him in four months, and now, in front of that adult Joshua, he felt like an insignificant kid. He looked like a stranger.  
Elia sat in the Judge's place and when Joshua saw him, he seemed surprised for a moment, then making an amused grin.

-As you all know, we are here today to determine the former Shibuya Composer's innocence or guilt.-

His voice was solemn and sounded different from the calm tone he had used with Neku. He looked like a severe Angel Judge.

-Because of witnesses's lack so far, it was almost impossible to make this trial, but providence has brought a glimmer of hope. We finally found a witness, Neku Sakuraba.-

Elia gestured toward him with his arm and all the Angels looked at his direction, making Neku feeling uncomfortable. Even Joshua finally turned his gaze to him. Those violet eyes didn't ever seem so far away it made him heard Elia's previous words echoing in his head.

-Sakuraba, could you introduce yourself and tell us your role within the Game? -

The Angel asked, making him a reassuring smile. That expression calmed him, as if Elia were really able to relax him. He didn't even notice to had smiled back.

-Neku Sakuraba, sixteen. I was a Player for three weeks ... and the Composer's Proxy-

He said, glancing over Joshua while saying the last words. The other merely smiled at him as if to challenge Neku to say everything he had done to him to the jury.

-Sakuraba, were you aware of your role as a Proxy during the Game? -  
-I didn't know until the last day of the third week.-  
-Did you know Kiryu before he chose you as his Proxy? -  
-No. I had never seen him before... he killed me.-

Neku looked down. Despite everything, recall that day still made him shudder. It certainly wasn't a good feeling to die. Elia turned to Joshua, looking sternly. A look pretty much the opposite of the kind which he reserved to Neku.

-Kiryu, do you confirm to have killed Neku Sakuraba? -

Joshua's violet eyes sparkled a bit, looking into Elia's one with challenge.

-Yes. I killed Neku Sakuraba five months ago.-  
-Could you give us your own testimony to justify such a thing? -

Joshua cleared his throat, throwing another look at Neku before speaking again. His voice was deeper than when he was a kid.

-I needed a Proxy to stop Megumi Kitanij, former Producer. Neku was the only Shibuya's citizen that I felt best suited for the job. And my calculations were proved correct as he was able to save the day.-

After his statements, from the entire jury came a constant buzz. The Angels seemed to talk and discuss, trying to figure out if Joshua's choice was indeed necessary to save or not Shibuya.

-Even if your choice was necessary, you have taken away an innocent human being's life and you deceived and used him.-

Elia replied, silencing everyone in the room. Neku had to hold the counter. He began to feel sick because of those words. He looked like the poor victim of a murderer, and it was exactly the truth. He felt like the time when Joshua revealed himself as the Composer. That feeling of betrayal that seemed to stab him in the deep of his heart.

-Could be. But the Angels themselves don't take into account humans' will, don't they? Neku is a citizen of my Shibuya and as such it was his duty to help me out in that situation, don't you agree? It all went well and even Neku has benefited from it, growing up as a better person than before.-

Elia seemed to want to blow Joshua's head at a glance judging by his look.

-Is it like that, Neku Sakuraba? You think been in the Game helped you become a better person? -

The question caught Neku unexpectedly, lost in his thought. He looked up, seeing the smug expression on Joshua's face, clearly saying he had won that round.

-Yes.-

He said softly, shifting his gaze to Elia. He couldn't lie. Even if Joshua was talking about those events in a cold and disinterested manner, it was true that those weeks allowed Neku to grow and become a better human being.  
The Angels' voices came back stronger than before and after a full quarter the whole jury stood up. One of the Angels spoke their decision.

-We believe that these statements need a thorough discussion, therefore we declare the trial suspended, and we will see each others again in three days-

The whole room seems to be equally divided between those who agreed with the decision and those who were disappointed that they hadn't sentenced Joshua for his crimes yet. Neku could only stand in the witness counter, pale.  
And yet... he believed that Joshua considered him as his friend. Those words were so cold, as if Neku was only a pawn... reminding him of the way the old Joshua spoke. He really believed he was changed after sparing Shibuya.

-Bring Joshua back to his cell.-

Elia ordered, while the usual boy pulled Neku to make him move. He and Joshua crossed for a moment. Now that they were near each other, it was really strange to see how Joshua was actually older than him. The guards were behind and in front of him, but despite all Neku could feel a cold hand touch him, handing him a small object. Tiny as a button. He tried not to have any reaction to avoid arousing suspicion, merely looking at him be taken away. He had a bad, bad feeling about this.


End file.
